glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You ruined the universe
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
