I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
