..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize