I am puke
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
