On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
