Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I intend to get homeless drunk
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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