I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
