Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
