i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
