Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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