New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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