My hand turned me down
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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