I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize