he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize