I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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