I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize