would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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