All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
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The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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