I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He did a backflip because drugs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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