If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
COCAINE IS GR8
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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