no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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