took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
