I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
