OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
