its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
