You're completely useless in the revolution.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
