He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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