i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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