Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
