my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
