i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
