I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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