did you get engaged???
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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