Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
