idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
