Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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