Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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