I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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