my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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