sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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