so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
