your parents love me but you hate me
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
