break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
