I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
