i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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