Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
