Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
