i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
