cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
