What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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