Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize