Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize