if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
