You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
