it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
