So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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