you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
