he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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