I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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