How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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