Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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