Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize