Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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