Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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