its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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