Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
