i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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