Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize