he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
