Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
