you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
