Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
