I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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