There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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