Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
