how can u be prego again
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize