return my video game
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
