So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize