susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize